The Jamie's + 1

Baby number 2? How to handle!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Happy Thursday all!
I am linking up on my most favorite link up again today!  I took a little break because the topics were things I needed advice on but couldn't GIVE any advice on!  That's one reason I love this link up... I love getting advice from moms who are going through or have gone through problems I'm dealing with!

The topic this week is something that I have been dealing with since our little one was born.  
Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

This post is probably going to be a long one because there are many things I have to say regarding this topic.
Let me start with the back story.

When my husband and I met we both didn't want children.. we were young and selfish!  About 2 years after we had been married my little sister had her daughter.

(I don't have a baby pic of her on the computer I am on)

Our worlds were turned upside down by the love we felt for Brooklyn Nicole.  Brooklyn was actually the first baby my husband had ever held.
We knew that if we loved Brooklyn as much as we did that we had to have one of our own!

About 6 months later we started "trying" for a baby.  It took us 8 long (to me) (short to my husband, ha) months to get pregnant.
As soon as I got pregnant it was horrible.  I did not have any morning sickness, thankfully. Let me explain that I am so thankful for Nicklas and everything I describe below I would do all over again if I had to!

Let me explain why it was so bad:

When I was 11 months pregnant I got a stomach bug... being terrified and having horrible craps I decided it was best to go the ER.  I was hooked to an IV and spent the night in the ER, not fun.

When I was bout 27 weeks pregnant I was in a car accident, nothing major, but when your stomach is pretty much touching the steering wheel and you have a seat belt on, being rear ended is somewhat major.  Per my doctors instructions I had to go to the hospital immediately to be monitored.  I did have a few contractions but thankfully Nicklas decided to calm down and I was sent home early the next morning and was told to stay on bed rest for 2 days.

At about 30 weeks I started developing what is called PUP, I called it hell, I digress, PUP is a rash that pregnant women sometimes get.  It makes you scratch all over.  I had rashes all over my body.  Since I was pregnant there were no medicines I could take.  I was given an ointment that did nothing but stain my sheets.  I couldn't even sleep at night!  NO FUN!!!

At about 37 weeks while I was at work my blood pressure sky rocketed.  One of my sweet friends from work drove me to meet my dad and he then rushed me to my doctor.  After being seen by my doctor I was told to go to the hospital.  I was monitored most of the day and then sent home.  After this I talked with my boss and we decided it was probably best to start my maternity leave early.  

I also was extremely swollen and uncomfortable.  I could only fit into one pair of my shoes... thank goodness it was summer time!

Nicks delivery was not much fun either.  I went into labor on my own about 2 1/2 weeks early (on my grandfathers birthday.)  Everything was fine until we found out nick was face up and pretty much stuck in the birth canal and I would only dilate to 5 cm.  We decided to do a C Section.  Nicklas was out within the first 10 min. of the C - Section.  After Nicklas was out and being loved on by his daddy my doctor told me that she couldn't get my uterus to harden and they could not stop my bleeding.  I was not feeling well at all and kept having sharp pains.  I do remember telling my nurse that I was going to throw up (TMI) and I did.  I don't remember anything else until they moved me to another bed and I was taken to my room, this was 2 1/2 hours later.  I had not even held my baby.  After the C - Section I was in so much pain, so out of it, and on so much medication that for the next 2 days I don't remember anything.  

After we got home everything was much better and Nicklas and I finally got to bond!
When I went back to see my doctor for my 2 week post op I was pretty much told that my body was not made to have children!

So there is my list of why I never want to be pregnant again...  On to how I handle the questions.

I get asked about once or twice a week when Jamie and I are going to have another child.  I tell them never and just wait for the lectures.  I then tell them about my pregnancy and how I don't want to risk leaving 2 children without a mom.  I then get told how every pregnancy is different.  That's when I do my most favorite answer... I smile and nod!

Depending on who is asking me... I sometimes answer this question with the finance answer.
There is no way we could afford day care for 2 kids and me staying home is not an option.  I also want to be able to provide for Nick as much as possible.  I want to be able to take vacations, throw him parties, do fun things on the weekend, etc.  With 2 children (money wise) this wouldn't be an option.

Another reason I give to people is that Jamie and I had hard relationships with our siblings.  Don't get me wrong, my sister is my absolute best friend now, but the teenage years were NOT FUN!  I am not going to go into Jamie's relationships with his siblings, not my place, i'll just say that they also have difficult relationships.

And the last reason I give to people.  Jamie and I truly feel like we are 'done'.  We feel as though Nick is a blessing.  He is happy, healthy, and loving.  We just don't have that 'urge' to have another child.

I hope this helps some of you deal with the nagging questions.
How do you handle them?!


  1. The "smile and nod" is a great response and I may have to try that one if my current one loses it's effectiveness! When people ask me about Baby #2, I just tell them "we're working on it!"... because we are (for the last 10 months?!) and that usually ends the conversation abruptly. Maybe they think it's TMI, but they did ask :)

    People are just really curious I guess and they love to ask awkward questions, though I'm sure I've asked my share of awkward questions, too!

    Thanks for linking up! Amy @

  2. Whew what a pregnancy/labor story!! You did not get off easy but atleast your baby was an absolutely adorable reward at the end!

  3. Oh my goodness, that was a rough go! I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that, but at least he was well worth it!! That's what I keep telling myself... it IS worth it! Maybe the fact that it's such a difficult road to get these sweet babes in our arms is the reason we do love and appreciate them so much?


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